Day 33 - The LAWL’s Prayer
Today's Reading:
"I AM WHO I AM"
Exodus 3:14
The LAWL's Prayer by Jimin Hong
Hey
I thought I knew you sufficiently well enough
Then I thought I’d outgrown you
As the corset of the church got too constricting
So I denied you altogether
But that was also presumptuous of me
For how can I ever land on one side of a debate as old as history
Jesus did live a good life
Whether the accounts questionably curated are true or not
He was a functional symbol to me, and I’ve learned much
(Thank you, next)
Now you’re simply less of a priority to me
And it’s so freeing
But on the days I revert to personifying you
Assuming you even exist
I wonder if I can ever fully escape the old patterns
My Atheist ex once told me
When I tried to save him from the gates of hell
That the world without God made perfect sense to him
So he didn’t feel the need to believe
And believe me he was one of the smartest people I knew
Back then I thought I lost a soul
Today his is the worldview I wish to be grafted to
Who the fuck are you
Are you some conscious energy infused in the life force
Reverberating across the universe
Have you deliberated the pressure points of evolution
Or are you just an evolutionary artifact to ensure survival
Through health-inducing benefits of belief
Did you sweat oceans
Did the sides of the canyons itch
Do you clip off the moon nail
Do you invest in your relationship with each star and bacterium
Born and gone in its characteristic time scale
Do you author the stories
Unfolding in furthest galaxies and in parallel realities
And
Have you seen the atrocities committed in your name
If power is at your disposal
Wield it not to answer petty prayers
But to clean up after your people’s mess
They’re your people
Your fragile people overprotective
Of their fragile projection of themselves onto you
It’s not their sins washed by your blood
But their brains washed of rationality
They’re right about one thing—
They certainly are broken
Their fallback lingos sickening
Prayer balms them by shutting their eyes
Against what’s taking place beyond their lids
Even with their eyes open
They perceive the world through a veil of over-spiritualized deception
Do you realize your patience so praised perpetuates injustice
The weight of oppression is all the heavier
Because you sit on the throne above it
If you are the giver of life
And birth the gateway to life
Throws individuals into unequal classes, resources, and opportunities
While death you apparently conquered
Is the grand equalizer
How the hell is your title the God of Justice
Give the title over to death
When we are in chains now
You dangle the promise of liberation beyond the grave
How dare you take Love as your name
Love is too sacred
Not a term reserved for one who nails their son
Label it a sacrifice for a greater love
Or resurrect the traumatized lamb
Neither justifies the means
Only satisfies your bloodthirsty interpreters
The atoned ones laugh bathing in the joy of salvation
Yet I cry
The earth groans
Plastic covers the ground like disposed condoms
And penetrates deeper still
Oceans bleed oil
Only humanity rises out of biodiversity
Life is brief
History repeats
Progress backfires
Everyone is hurting
Everyone is walking
On each of their own rugged paths
Invalidated by the one claiming to be the only way
I used to subscribe to a meta narrative
Now I let my immediate needs consume me
Desire a connection with the condemned
Dare judge me
I will grab your ankle
And drag you down with me
At the end of the day
I may not hear well done
But I liked it raw anyway
In your many undeserved aliases I pray
Amxn
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Reflection
If there is any source of discontent that “challenges your faith”, whether intellectual or circumstantial, I encourage you to ride with it and unearth your deepest profane self toward God or whatever.